Fight To Live Well.
My mother said I was born fighting. I’ve never taken offense to that because it’s a fact.
Of course I was born fighting because all I’ve ever done is fight for my life.
For the longest time, I fought everyone - God included - that threatened to take away my pleasure or freedom because I’d had enough. I was tired of use, abused, misunderstood and disregarded. I was tired of being made to feel like an inconvenience, a burden or an outlaw, which happened pretty regularly. Sure I was immature and needed to grow, but those things people shamed and rejected about me were simply the raw and unfiltered image of who GOD HIMSELF intended me to be.
Maybe if people spent more time gazing beyond the messy lump of stubborn clay that was too hard for them to mold, into the the eyes of Christ to see and encourage His purpose for me, then maybe, just maybe I would have spent less time fighting and more of my life thriving.
It’s a waste of time to wonder because too much wondering leads to wandering in wildernesses I’m not meant to be alone in.
{God has graced me with a mighty will;
stubbornly refusing to be defeated or defined by hard times or people}
In my darker times, I’d cry out and accuse God of being evil - for letting me suffer in the ways I have, especially when all I’d done was try my best.
I believed He couldn’t be good if I or others were hurting.
That’s a normal thing to feel and believe. Kids feel that way towards their parents all the time. But as we grow older, wiser and make mistakes of our own, we start to better understand the naiveté of that very understandable conclusion.
I’ve spent the last two years going deeper than memorized scripture and typical church-goer theology because quite honestly, that’s the recipe that produces so much of the apathy, hypocrisy and injury Christian’s are most commonly known for.
They wear a title they don’t value.
They preach a message they don’t understand.
They represent a God - they don’t really .... Really .... Know.
And it shows.
Deconstruction can be constructive but it’s usually destructive, because rather than seeking wisdom and restoration, people are just reshaping broken theology into something they’re more comfortable with.
What’s that got to do with fighting for life?
Yahweh God is the source of all life and goodness.
Both life and its joys, goodness and its benefits only exist in the world because God remains in the world with His creation in spite of their ignorance, bitterness and rebellion.
When people misunderstand God or His goodness, they will suffer.
When people properly understand God and His goodness, they flourish.
Period.
So for me to truly fight for life, is to know Him.
When I know Him correctly, I live differently.
Shame free.
Better habits.
Physically healthy.
Mentally peaceful and emotionally strong.
Purposeful, trusting and free.
I can eat right, train my mind, do good in life and literally “do” everything right -
All of that helps me get by.
But it doesn’t make all things new equip me to fight.
Or in the face of hard times - thrive.
That’s something only the Father of Life can provide.
And it’s only when I see Him clearly that I’m able to trust Him, to “get Him” right... to abide.
Through abiding - plugging in - everything good that comes from Him flows through Him to me.
The strength, the patience, the compassion, the understanding, the courage, the wisdom, the boldness, the self control, the love, the endurance... all of it comes as a result of plugging in - to what is True.
That’s why it’s so important to know Him correctly.
Knowing Him incorrectly will cause you to plug in to the wrong outlet or not plug in securely. Which means you’ll be fighting for life - maybe alongside Him but still - without Him or His graces able to flow through you.
I was wondering recently how to find congruence in my “marketing message” as a women’s health coach and theology nerd obsessed with healing trauma and other chronic purpose-sabotaging issues.
And that’s it.
People can’t be fully free or healthy when they’re plugged in to the wrong story.
It doesn’t matter what surface choices they make or habits they change, if there are lies in your story, there will be struggle, stress and suffering.
Look, life is hard.
You will get hurt.
You will be triggered.
You will doubt.
You will feel overwhelmed.
But you don’t have to be defeated or defined by it.
You can conquer.
You can fight well.
Stop fighting to survive and instead
fight to fully live.
Navae Lukas
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